simple jack quotes

You have to take out ads… Tran: More stupid! Which, from what I can tell, is what they speaking down there. And Simple Jack is the only movie we possess. A nutless monkey could do your job. I’m going to fucking do all the heroin in the fucking world. Kirk Lazarus: Here’s my motherfucking farm! First, take a big step back and literally fuck your own face! Jeff Portnoy: Get over here! You got to buck up here, Tuggboat. Alpa Chino: No!

Are you going to talk Vietnamese to those dudes? You want to get on the train here, or do you want to ruin another take, huh? You about to cross a f*cking line. Jeff Portnoy: What the fuck are you guys talking about? Kirk Lazarus: Well? [Portnoy is on the Ox covered with a sheet and Lazarus is walking the Ox dressed as a Vietnamese farmer] Tugg Speedman: Screw TiVo. Kevin Sandusky: Look, you guys, we already know the plan. Rick Peck: Jesus Christ, Tugg! I’d do it myself but I’m kind of goddamn busy!

I just know the sound it makes when it lies! Portnoy catches it trying to rip the bat open with his teeth], [Speedman shoots his rifle into the air to stop them all arguing], [Lazarus walks up to stand in front of Speedman], [Lazarus quickly snatches the map from Speedman’s hand], [Lazarus is leading the actors through the jungle and Sandusky is following behind him], [Cody and Tayback are tied to a post in the Flaming Dragon compound], [Portnoy crawls to the edge of the river and starts drinking water from the river], [Lazarus slaps Alpa and he goes to punch back but Lazarus blocks the punch and pulls Alpa into an embrace], [Portnoy is flopped over on his stomach on an ox], [they’ve just noticed the Flaming Dragon compound], [after being captured and taken to the Flaming Dragon compound], [Tran, the leader of the Flaming Dragon compound, burns a cigar on Speedman’s chest and start hitting him with a stick], [Tran shows him a battered VHS box of Simple Jack], [Peck bursts into Grossman’s office unannounced interrupting his meeting], [Speedman is brought onto a makeshift stage with really bad looking makeup and wig], [gives Speedman false teeth just taken out of an old man’s mouth], [Tran hits him in the stomach with back of his rifle], [Speedman puts the false teeth in his mouth], [Tran hits him in the stomach again with back of his rifle], [the others all look at him and then just ignore him and continue talking], [after Sandusky explain what “The Wet Offensive” plan is], [on the phone to the Flaming Dragon Bodyguard], [after Grossman has refused to pay the ransom to free Speedman], [turns on Flo Rider’s “Low” and begins to dance to the beat], [watching Speedman reenact Simple Jack, with a really bad looking wig and false teeth, for a small group of chuckling guards], [Alpa Chino has just smacked Lazarus in the face], [Speedman continues his Simple Jack play], [starts doing a really bad fake cry, crowd of guards start applauding and then Speedman gets hit in the stomach by the guard on stage with him], [a little boy hands Speedman a tin, he removes the cloth from the tin and looks inside], [Portnoy is on the Ox covered with a sheet and Lazarus is walking the Ox dressed as a Vietnamese farmer], [after breaking into the Flaming Dragon compound and going into the ammunition hut], [Portnoy takes Tran and holds a gun to his head], [Portnoy runs away with Tran in his arms], [Lazarus finds Speedman in one of the Flaming Dragon huts], [Cody watches Alpa from the ammunition hut], [Cody throws a bomb in to the middle of the Flaming Dragon compound; to Tayback], [Portnoy has found the Heroin room in the Flaming Dragon compound], [grabs two fist full of heroin powder, then two guards burst in to the room and Portnoy starts to fart making the guards laugh], [Portnoy shoves the heroin in his hands into the guards’ faces and the guards drop to the ground; to Sandusky], [rips off his wig to reveal his blond hair], [he removes the beard and the contact lenses to reveal his blue eyes and speaks in his natural Australian accent], [there’s a pause before Speedman replies], [Portnoy is holding on to back of a moving truck when he notices Tayback], [Tayback jumps onto the truck holding on with his hands], [Speedman is running back on the bridge with Half Squat on his shoulders trying to stab him with a knife], [after the bridge explosion we see Speedman through the smoke with his arms out, Christ like then falling face down in the mud], [the others are yelling at him to come back into the helicopter], [gets to Speedman whose lying in the mud], [Tran and his guards are getting ready to shoot a grenade at the helicopter when Peck appears through the jungle], [holds the Tivo up and starts running towards the helicopter], Roald Dahl’s The Witches (2020) Best Movie Quotes, Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey Quotes on Netflix, Jungleland New Movie Quotes – ‘We’re not going to lose.’, Best Quotes from The Dark Knight Trilogy – ‘Why so serious?’.

Kirk Lazarus: Oh, thanks! Kirk Lazarus: That’s your stick buddy? Jacket’s on, I’m out the door!

If I see one more head pop up, it’s going to be bullet Whac-A-Mole. And the men respect you, because you went to boot camp and rehearsal. Are you going to talk Vietnamese to those dudes? Kevin Sandusky: Yeah, did you guys read the book? Jeff Portnoy: My belly really hurts, you guys! Playing a guy who ain’t smart but thinks he is, that’s tricky. Tugg Speedman: Oh, okay. And maybe some crab apples for dessert, now, you hear? I don’t want to die like Hendrix!

You have to take out ads… You’re my friend. Tugg Speedman: You saw Simple Jack? Four Leaf Tayback: Get off me! It’s cool. You more shredded than a julienne salad, man. Sex Camp. Access Hollywood Reporter It’s been a tough year for Tugg. They were escaping.

Tropic Thunder. A simple epitaph for Thin Lizzy rocker Gary Moore ... Oscar-winning actor Jack Lemmon (1925–2001) starred in more than 60 films and had his name in … [Lazarus slaps Alpa and he goes to punch back but Lazarus blocks the punch and pulls Alpa into an embrace] Flaming Dragon. I don’t need to pee. Cody: I don’t know what it’s called. You must put those boys in the shit. Look, I know you’re a big fan, and that’s great… Roll your shit up, man. I thought the movie was bad. [there’s a pause before Speedman replies]

Kevin Sandusky: Wow! Come, look! Kirk Lazarus: Yeah, but he gave it to you for us. Oh hilarious! Tugg Speedman: It’s me, Tugg.

Sea of Love. Y’all heard of Alpa Chino? Hah! Tayback lies to me and the whole goddamn U.S. Of A. Kirk Lazarus: Don’t look now, you got some real tears going.

Well, get ready to occupy the skin of a terrified U.S. Infantry grunt, surrounded by death, crawling up Satan’s bottom.

Cody: Oh, sweet.

Into the water, ladies! I bet I could collar up some of them greens. Rick Peck: “And?” Mandarin Chinese. [to the guards] Les Grossman: What do you need, Peck? Rob Slolom: Alright. Let’s do this. [hits him really hard in the face] Now, whichever format porno backs is usually the one that becomes the, uh, the most successful.

[the bat that took Portnoy’s cocaine bag falls. [looking into the camera via Satellite] That’ll bring him around. Kevin Sandusky.

Tugg Speedman: What? Let's rank the greatest quotes from Tropic Thunder, with the help of your votes. Tugg? Speedman is a dying star, a white dwarf heading for a black hole. Tugg Speedman: Simple Jack. Kirk Lazarus: Any tips, you got?

Tugg Speedman: Really? Damien Cockburn: Uh, that’s me, sir.

[snippets of Speedman’s playing Simple Jack are shown] Alpa Chino: Shit. Kirk Lazarus: Sanducci. Tugg Speedman: What do you mean? Kirk Lazarus: When you wrote “I Love That Pussy” was you thinking of dangling your dice on Lance’s forehead? Kevin Sandusky. So, what we did, we built a catapult out of logs and underwear, and they shot us over the wall, and we parachuted down. Rob Slolom: Preferably before the end of the fiscal year. We’ll weep for him, in the press. I’m giving you gold. Tugg Speedman as Four Leaf: You are my brother. Fuck that, man! Kirk Lazarus: Man, everyone’s gay once in a while.

Alpa Chino: I’m just fucking with you, Kangaroo Jack! What would’ve happened in The Great Escape if Steve McQueen and them dudes had turned tail and ran? Jeff Portnoy: I fucking hate movies. It’s Nick Stevens, isn’t it? Your men need you! Cody: Yeah, you’re the Milli Vanilli of patriots, okay? [after breaking into the Flaming Dragon compound and going into the ammunition hut] Les Grossman: Ask, and you shall receive. Four Leaf Tayback: I don’t want to hear it. Kevin Sandusky: It’s the world’s hard drug superhighway. Uh, I’ve barely even had a girlfriend, and I was really hoping I’d get laid when this movie came out, but that’s not going to happen. Kirk Lazarus: This is Hollywood. This motherfucker’s dead! Alpa Chino: Get the fuck down. [at the Oscar Ceremony] [Portnoy heads towards an ox] Ha? You want the map, huh? You’re my friend.

You killed the director. [Speedman is on an iceberg with everything behind him frozen. A lot of people are disrespecting me. Jeff Portnoy: Yeah. Spent time with them.

Tugg Speedman: It’s Sandusky. Tugg Speedman: You want the map? You perform or die! Kirk Lazarus: I’m just like a little boy, playing with his dick when he’s nervous. What it came down to was a combination of gamers and porn.

Jeff Portnoy: Don’t judge meeee!

[to the Flaming Dragon guards] Kirk Lazarus: Yeah. Jeff Portnoy: What do you mean? Jeff Portnoy: Hey, man. And maybe some crab apples for dessert, now, you hear?

Cody: Oh, my God! Hey. You pay now, or tomorrow Simple Jack die! Remember it? It’s a cure-all. Kirk Lazarus: You’re not doing tofu dinner theater for these motherfuckers. Now, Tugg who?

Tugg Speedman: You sure?

Alright, you killed a hooker. Untie me.” Don’t listen to me! I mean, that’s probably not even her real name. Monkey swine! Tugg Speedman: Right. Written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. Kevin Sandusky: Did you say “Lance”? [Alpa Chino has just smacked Lazarus in the face] Let’s roll! Remember?

We could do something by getting our asses back to the hotel, which is in the other direction! Tugg Speedman: Yeah. Alright? Yes, suh, hah!

[referring to the map in Speedman’s hand] It was like pistol-whipping a blind kid. [Lazarus quickly snatches the map from Speedman’s hand] Alpa Chino: Maybe y’all heard of me.

Jeff Portnoy as Fats: Get on that horn and get some firepower, boy! It’s just, it’s very political. And you know Cliffhanger, Cliffhanger’s incredible. We got to get Candisky to the chopper! Damien Cockburn: No, no, no, we’re crying! Let’s face it. Kirk Lazarus: Yeah, I want the fucking map. Tugger! Alright, now, dude, you got to get it. When their frustrated director, Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan), drops them in the middle of a jungle, they are forced to rely on their acting skills to survive the real action and danger. [the key grip raises his hand]

It’s, just to be nominated… You people… Kirk Lazarus as Osiris: I hope y’all like hamburger meat. [puts up his right hand which is missing his small finger] There he is. Tugg Speedman: What? When it happened again, the world called on him once more. Tugg Speedman: Well, you know. I’m sorry a dingo ate your baby.

Time to man up. Kirk Lazarus: How’s it going with that map, chief? Tugg Speedman: What? [reads from the scene list]

Coast Guard. Kirk Lazarus: Who in crikey fuck is Half Squat? Kevin Sandusky: Look, you guys, we already know the plan. Jeff Portnoy: Shut the fuck up! Rick Peck: No, more like what do YOU need, Les? Les Grossman: What do you need, Peck? Alpa Chino: That’s the theme song for The Jeffersons. Tugg Speedman: Please, don’t hurt me! Speedman is a dying star, a white dwarf heading for a black hole. Alpa Chino: It’s “Viet Cong.” There’s no “S.” It’s already plural. I’ll always be a screw-up. Alpa Chino: We got to roll out. Cody: Cruising. Kirk Lazarus: He’s right, you know. Cody: Bullshit! Alpa Chino: Shit. You want me to let my client of 15 years, one of my best friends, die in the jungle, alone, for some money and a G5?

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