how to offend someone in a smart way

Make it seem like whatever he does doesn’t affect you in any way. The worst thing you can do is Google insults.

Dedicated to your stories and ideas. A few cultures are noted for their intolerance for the foibles of others. Animal references are popular, such as the German ‘’Schweinhund’’ (“pig dog”) or ‘’Esel’’ (“jackass”). Similarly, the most effective insults targeting the recipient’s mannerisms are for those mannerisms the recipient is most self-conscious about or those he or she knows bother you most and are often delivered by exaggeratedly copying those mannerisms.

Sometimes, you can use the rules of a culture's etiquette to your advantage to enhance the insult.

While not strictly professional, Thought Catalogue have some hilariously classy putdowns like, “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain […]. Note that if you're the type of person who likes to be well-liked and popular rather than kind of a jerk, you might want to reconsider. In most cases, the insults are based on the public persona of the honoree, who often gets a few minutes at the end to rebut his roasters. Perhaps they simply like to ‘’kvetch’’ (whine). Other countries prefer going Number 2, as in Taiwan's ‘’Gou pi’’ (“dog f**t”) or Bosnia’s ‘’Sanjam da prdnem na tebe’’ (“I dream of f**ting on you”). (Rickles' insults are delivered in an exaggerated "in-your-face" style that earned him the nickname "Merchant of Venom. For more help, like how to insult someone indirectly, scroll down. Your breath smells like a wet flip-flop. Groucho Marx was a master of this style of insult, with lines such as "I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception" and "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. To create this article, 15 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. These words are best delivered in a gentle tone of voice and to recipients whose vocabulary is not as large as yours. Think of a few good things to say and memorize them. They can't be predetermined: they come to you when the time is right. Likewise, the less you resort to either curse words or scatological terms when directing insults against someone, the more effective they become when you do use them – and you can usually effectively insult someone without resorting to them in the first place. Avoid being mean for the sake of being mean with your insults.

“I envy everyone you have never met.” — TheGarp. The bully who never stopped picking on you. To create this article, 15 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. “You’re like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. For more help, like how to insult someone indirectly, scroll down.

If you’re so mad and tired that you don’t care about being particularly clever, dive in with name-calling and attacking their incompetence, as in “your cooking sucks”. The original intelligent insult generator! If you are on the receiving end of someone else’s insult, one effective way to combat it is not to simply insult them in return, but to base your comeback on their insult. If you really can’t stand to see another ad again, then please consider supporting our work with a contribution to wikiHow. How can I roast (insult) a friend if I don't know how to roast? By using our site, you agree to our. To really hit the person hard, insult an accomplishment they put a lot of time and effort into. Don't hesitate to let your friends know if their teasing starts upsetting you. Someday, I intend reading it.". You could research some clever comebacks on the internet and memorize them. Say he likes Nike's. The best way is just to ignore them. An example of where to find good insults are roasts, where a famous person is "honored" by being treated to faint praise and moderate damnations of his accomplishments and character. There tend to be a few of those at the office, too, but remember not to let them get under your skin. Here, an Old World-style curse to wander the earth forever and never know a moment's peace may be better than a few choice words from Don Rickles' repertoire.

Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. Last Updated: September 30, 2020 Your lazy, no-good brother-in-law. 3. Finally, sometimes any answer is better than no answer, even if it's a little lame. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/william-b-irvine/10-ways-to-insult-someone_b_2978927.html, http://www.oychicago.com/blog.aspx?id=8318&blogid=142, http://www.dw.de/the-du-sie-dilemma-in-german/a-16494631, https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/43244.Groucho_Marx, http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2008/6/5/how-to-insult-someone-without-offending-them.html, http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/insult.html, http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Isaac_Asimov, consider supporting our work with a contribution to wikiHow. Go find it and apologize.” — Alcho_Duck, “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.” — UlicBelouve, “Are you naturally this dumb or do you have to put in effort?” — TheToucanKing, “You consistently set low expectations and fail to achieve them.” — Merv_86, “Just quit being yourself.” — allmusiclover69, “I hope you lose weight so there’ll be less of you!” — bobapplemac, “Anyone who ever said they loved you lied.” — chileheadd, “I hope your day is filled with people like you.” — Adamdidit, “If only your mother had swallowed you instead…” — HappyLittleTrees17, “If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb up your ego, and jump to your IQ.” — Saoirse_Laochra, “I refuse to enter a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.” — snugalufalus, “You spit in the face of evolution.” — Fishing_Croagunk, “Even dogs don’t like you.” — Av3ngedAngel, “Life is full of disappointments, just ask your parents.” — cmdrmcgarrett, “When your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.” — crabshit, “Not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.” — Alcho_Duck, “You’re the poster child for Birth Control.” — Rockwell87, “You are like the sun, not because you light up my world but because it hurts to look at you.” — PenguinsAreTheSenate, “You better die on a weekday, because no one will break their weekend plans to attend your funeral.” — triton2toro, “Whoever told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice.” — ElVille55, You shouldn’t act hard-to-get when you’re hard-to-want.” — InarticulateAtheist, “Now I know why everyone talks about you behind your back.” — drsp00kz, “You’re about as useful as a screen door in a submarine.” — [deleted], Yessss I love this post ❤️ and if you don’t mind can you come check out my blog at https://beeuniek.wordpress.com/, […] a rival co-worker, however, you may want to return the insult. Letting someone else insult the person for you can mean reporting actual derogatory comments made by a third party to the recipient, embellishing the third party's comments to make them insulting or attributing your insult to a third party when delivering it to the recipient.

It also keeps us humble if we can laugh at ourselves, along with others, or be okay with being the brunt of the joke. If you lack the quick wit necessary to counter someone else's insult with one of your own, an equally, if not more effective, way to reply to an insult is with prolonged silence. Then if he insults you, just say, "What am I, a mirror or something?". What should I do?

Save them for when you have a genuine beef with the person you want to direct them at. While not strictly professional, Thought Catalogue have some hilariously classy putdowns like, “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain […], […] a rival co-worker, however, you may want to return the insult.

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